When we’re young, friendship seems to come effortlessly. School throws us into a sea of potential friends, classmates, teammates, neighbours, all navigating the same milestones at the same time. But as we grow older, graduate, and settle into careers or family life, making new friends suddenly feels… complicated. The easy, organic connections of childhood are replaced by busy schedules, shifting priorities, and the quiet assumption that everyone already has their “people.”

But here’s the thing: making friends as an adult isn’t impossible. It just takes a little more intention and sometimes, a push outside your comfort zone.

The Shift from Extrovert to Introvert (And Back Again?)

I used to be the textbook extrovert. Weekends were packed with outings, dinners, and late-night laughs with friends. Then life happened. Challenges piled up, anxiety and depression took hold, and without realizing it, I became someone who preferred staying in to going out. The shift wasn’t overnight, but one day, I looked around and realized I still had my core group of friends but I simply stopped putting in the effort to meet anyone new, and I stopped going out to have any bit of fun.

Sound familiar?

The good news is, even if you’ve become more introverted (or just out of practice), you can rebuild your social life. It might feel awkward at first, but the rewards are worth it.

My “Why Not?” Moment: The Photography Retreat

Earlier this year, I signed up for a photography retreat, I’m always looking to learn new skills and keep up on everything in the photography world, but I also wanted to have a connection with people who shared my passion. I was nervous. What if I didn’t fit in? What if everyone already knew each other?

Turns out, almost everyone felt the same way. By the end of the retreat, I’d bonded with four incredible women from across North America. Sam from Saschinsky Photo in North Virginia, Carol from Essence Photography in Toronto, Rose from Rose Weigner Photography in Santa Cruz, and Sarah from Sarah’s Grassroots Photography in Salmon Arm. We now text regularly, hop on Zoom chats, and cheer each other on through creative slumps and business challenges. Having that support system, people who get what I’m going through, has been a game-changer.

That experience reminded me: friendship in adulthood isn’t about luck. It’s about showing up.

How to Make Friends Later in Life

If you’re feeling lonely or wishing for deeper connections, here are some strategies that actually work:

1. Lean Into Your Interests

Shared interests are the easiest bridge to new friendships. Think about what you love, photography, travelling, books, cooking and seek out groups or events centred around those passions.

• Join a club or class: Whether it’s pottery, improv, or a running group, structured activities take the pressure off small talk.
• Try Meetup.com: There are groups for everything from board games to entrepreneurial networking.
• Volunteer: Helping out at a local charity or event connects you with like-minded people while doing something meaningful.

2. Embrace the “Friend Date”

Remember how nerve-wracking dating could be? Making friends as an adult can feel just as vulnerable. But instead of waiting for friendships to magically happen, take the initiative. If you meet someone you click with, suggest a low-pressure hangout:

“Hey, I’ve been wanting to check out that new café, want to join me?”
“I’m going to the farmers’ market this weekend if you’re free!”

Most people are flattered to be asked. And if they’re not interested? No harm done.

3. Reconnect with Old Friends (Without Guilt)

Lost touch with someone you used to be close to? Reach out. A simple “I was just thinking about you, how have you been?” can reignite a friendship. Life gets busy, and most people won’t hold gaps against you.

4. Be the Planner

If you’re tired of waiting for invites, start hosting. Organize a monthly dinner, a movie night, or even a virtual book club. People often want to socialize but don’t want to be the one to plan it. Be that person.

5. Accept That Not Every Connection Will Stick

Not every coffee date will turn into a lifelong friendship and that’s okay. Some people will fade after one hangout; others might become unexpected confidants. The key is to keep trying.

The Awkward Truth: It Might Feel Weird at First

If you’ve been out of the social game for a while, putting yourself out there can feel unnatural. You might overthink texts, worry you’re coming on too strong, or feel like the odd one out in a group. That’s normal.

The more you do it, the easier it gets. And the payoff having people who truly see you makes every awkward moment worth it.

Final Thought: You’re Not Alone in This

If you’re reading this and thinking, “But what if no one likes me?” or “I’m too set in my ways,” trust me: you’re not the only one who feels that way. Loneliness is more common than we admit, especially as adults. But the first step to changing it is deciding you’re worth the effort.

So, send that message. Join that group. Say yes to the invite (even if your couch is calling). Friendships might not fall into your lap like they once did, but with a little courage, they’re still within reach.

Now, who’s up for a tea? ☕